Friday, April 30, 2010

!-! Desitarka.org !-! 8 worst ways to die in the jungle

 
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!-! Desitarka.org !-! Saturday Special - CID meets 3 Idiots- Very Funny Must read

 


 
 
 
 

New Ending to 3 IDIOTS :

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call the world famous CID.

 

ACP: Ohh MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya...campus ko acchi tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !! (Shaking his finger)

(After searchin the campus like a pair of buffoons...Abhijeet and Daya find out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years back in the campus...)

 

Abhijeet: Sir, Mamla Gadbad hai...Yaha kisi joy naam ke student NE aatma-hatya ki thi 4 saal pehle. Lagta hai woh aatma hatya nahi...khoon tha...aur shayad khooni yeh rancho hi hoga !!!

 

ACP: OHH MY GODD !!!

 

ACP: Yeh joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikalo...aur use forensic lab me leke aao...Dr. Salunkhe zarur koi na koi baat ughalva denge iss murde aadmi se !!

(after fredricks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of joy...and the next scene is of the forensic lab)

 

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahot jaldi laash laaye tum...isse kuch bulvana mushkil hoga...lekin tum tension mat lo...tum Dr. Salunkhe ke lab se khali haat nahi jaoge..koi na koi raaz toh pata chal hi jayega

(after playin with some colour changing liquids)

 

Dr. Salunkhe : BOSS...tumne kaha isski maut suicide se hui hai...main kehta hu..iska khoon hua hai !!

 

ACP: Salunkhe !!! Mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!...yeh kaise ho sakta hai??

 

Salunkhe: BOSS...sab kuch mumkin hai !! Yeh dekho...(shows him his star-trek type computer and does some really fast typing)

 

ACP: OHH MY GODD !! (still shaking his finger)....toh phir yeh baat hamein kisi NE batayi kyu nahi ??...ek kaam karo...uss principal ko yahaan leke aao bureau me...AB kya sach hai..wahi hamein batayega !!

(virus is brought to the bureau)

 

Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai...Maine kuch nahi kiya

 

Abhijeet: sach sach batao...uss raat campus me kya hua tha???

 

Virus: sssir, main sssach bol raha hu...mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??

(daya gives him his special CHAMAAAT !!!)

 

Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???

 

Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad AA gaya...Bata ta hu...sab Bata ta hu !

 

Fredricks: (constipated look)..sir..daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu hai...iska 'sssss' kehna band ho gaya

 

ACP: Fredricks..chup raho !!

 

Virus: uss raat sab logo NE gay party ki thi....sab log apni underwear me campus me ghoom rahe the....main bhi tha...lekin mere saath koi flirt hi nahi kar raha tha...isliye main bahot gusse me tha...phir Joy aaya aur usne mujhe uska helicopter dikhaya...Maine uska helicopter gutter me fek diya..toh woh rote rote apne room me chale gaya. Aur next din humne dekha toh uska murder ho gaya tha...lekin aap please yeh baat kisi se boliye mat...college ki badnaami ho jayegi...

 

ACP: hum kisi ko nahi batayenge...tum hamare saath co-operate karo

(virus leaves)

 

ACP: yahaan kuch toh gadbad hai daya....aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus me khoon ho gaya aur kisi NE CID ko bulaya hi nahin??

 

Abhijeet: sir shayad logo ko pata hai...ki pehle police ko bulana chaiye...CID ko nahi !!

 

ACP: Aur yeh kaise hua ki khooni campus me AA gaya..aur campus se khoon kar ke nikal gaya??

 

Vivek : Sir, shayad yeh bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?

 

ACP: haan vivek...kuch bhi ho sakta hai...kuch bhi (shaking finger)..ek kaam karo abhijeet...phir se campus me chalte hain...aur acchi tarah se check karte hain...yahaan daal me kuch kaala hai !!

 

Abhijeet: sir daal me kala nahi...puri daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!

(they reach the campus in their ol' faithful qualis which changes colour every episode...but the number plate is still the same...and daya slams the breaks....SCCHRREEEECH !!)

 

ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum pura campus CHECK KARO....Daya tum iss campus ke saare DARWAAZE TOD DO !!....Fredricks...tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se entertain karo...aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hu....chalo sab apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!

(after checking the campus)

 

Vivek: Sir, yahaan aiye....yeh dekho...yeh ek chatur naam ke ladke ki diary mili hai sir...isme likha hai ki woh rancho aur rancho ek dusre ke dushman the...aur woh rancho se badla Lena chahta tha !!

 

ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)...OHH MY GODD !!! AB yeh Chatur kaun hai...aur iske room se itni baas kyun AA rahi hai !!...Good work vivek !!...iss evidence ko forensic lab Le jao !

 

Abhijeet: Haain !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai...shayad se iss chatur NE hi joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! Aur rancho kahaan gaya...usse hi pata hoga !!

 

ACP: Toh bulao iss Chatur ko Bureau mein...isse hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!

(chatur in interrogation)

 

ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??

 

Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !!

 

Abhijeet: Dekho Sach Sach Batao !! Hamein yeh diary mili hai tumhare room se...isme saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhein rancho se jalan thi

 

Chatur : (over-acting)...mujhe nahi pata hai sir !! maine kuch nai kiya hai

(Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins)

 

Chatur: Haan haan...maine hi khoon kiya tha joy ka...kyonki usne mechanical helicopter banaya tha project me...aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya tha....boo hoo hoo !! Lekin phir woh kambakht Rancho aa gaya...usne mujhe dekh liya tha...isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya

 

ACP: waah...kya plan banaya tha...lekin afsos tum CID ke saamne kamiyaab nahi ho paaye...ab banate rehna plan...JAIL me...Tumhe toh FAASI hogi FAASI !!

 
 
 
67

Keep Smiling


PANKAJ SHARMA
pankaj.pkj1@gmail.com
"You are not responsible for what people think about you.
But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you"




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!-! Desitarka.org !-! ~!~!~!~Pareshaan Pappu~!~!~!~

 
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!-! Desitarka.org !-! SMS...............

 



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Uski yaadon se dil ko abaad kya karein
Jisko bhulay he nahi usay yaad kya karein
Jab apne he hathon Ujaad de zindagi apni
Phir ghairon se jaker is ki Fariyad kya karein!!!

 
Tamaam umar zindagi se door rahe,
Apki khushi ke liye apni khushi se door rahe.
Ab is se badkar wafa ki saja kya hogi,
ke aapke hokar bhi aapse door rahe...!!!
 
kuchh beete hue lamho se mulakat hui
kuchh tute hue sapno se baat hui
yaad jo karne baithe un tamam yado ko
to aapki hi yaado se shuruat hui

 
Unki galiyoon se jab guzre to manzar ajeeb tha,
Dard tha magar wo dil ke kareeb tha,
Jise hum dhoondhte the apni hathoon ki lakeeroon mein…
Wo kisi doosre ki kismat, kisi aur ka naseeb tha.


Har khamoshi ka matlab inkaar nahi hota,
Har nakamyabi ka matlab haar nahi hota.
Toh kya huwa agar hum tume na pasake,
Sirf paane ka matlab pyar nahi hota.

 
EHSAAS BAHUT HOGA JAB CHOR KE JAYENGE
ROENGE BAHUT MAGAR AANSOO NAHI AAYENGE
JAB SAATH KOI NA DE TOW AWAAZ HAME DENA
AASMA PAR HONGE TOW BHI LAUT KA AAYENGE


 

  
 
     Leave "something" for"someone"
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    never leave"someone" for "something"
 bcuz.in life
       "something" will leave you 
 but
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!-! Desitarka.org !-! Three Trees (Short Story- Worth Read)

 



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Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty." Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull." Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest. At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship. When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down."

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams. Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because God had been crucified on it.






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!-! Desitarka.org !-! Khawabon ka aik jazeera ho

 
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