!-! Desitarka.org !-! Why do we hurt the ones we love the most....

 

Why do we hurt the ones we love the most    Have you noticed that the people you love the most, the people who are closest to you- are the ones you hurt the most?  How easy it is for us to be nice to a complete stranger, yet when it comes to the ones we love, we will not hesitate to give them a whiplash! Questions like these keep popping into my mind time and again. Makes me wonder why do we do this? Is it that we take our loved ones for granted, or is it because we feel that they will not judge us? Could it be possible it is a sign of frustration, not with others - but rather with us? Else is it we have very high expectation in life and look for high Returns on our Investments of love? If the return is not high, we get agitated and make them live to regret their failing to meet our expectations. It is true is it not? Speaking of truth - that according to me is the other reason we hurt others. We do not have the courage and strength to accept the truth being dished out by our dear ones. So what do we do....pow!!  Do we even think how difficult it must be for them to even come to us with the facts? The saying goes that the only constant in life is change and so here we are acting as change agents –trying desperately to bring about change in the ways of the ones we love. Why simply because according to us they do not act in a way which is conformed and meets our lofty standards. In the bargain we are destroying the individual, as well as the relationship. We simply would not dare do this to a stranger. I know it is easy for me to be misunderstood, by someone reading this article. But that is exactly what I am trying to relate, as another possible reason of causing hurt. Misunderstandings as we know are nothing but our failure, to see the other side of the mountain. We act like a horse with blinkers and see only one side of the story. It might also be due to our conditioning, which has left an impression on our minds making us stinky hard boiled eggs. A wag once said that "a kind eye is able to recognize defects and see beyond them". In other words, making an allowance for the other person's weakness. But then do we not love to highlight the other person's weakness, while we love to sweep ours under the carpet?   Now when it comes to our dear ones, they are also near to us and can see the ugly wrinkles we call weakness.  So what do we do if they try to help us get rid of these blemishes? As Ricky Martin says "fight fight fight "and hide behind the mask of anger. I know I am not perfect and have my weaknesses too and my goal is to work on them.  I am going to start by telling the people I love, how much they mean to me. In the bargain I hope to rid myself of the biggest mistake we all make and express their value only in epitaph.  I hope you can do the same too. "Apologizing does not mean that you are wrong and the other one is right... It simply means that you value the relationship much more than your ego .."  "Being Kind Is More Important Than Being Right.."                                *.*                      ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜      __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__       ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯                 (`*•.¸ (`*•.¸ ¸.•*´) ¸.•* )              ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..                Harish Shetty aKa Agni Shetty              ..::¨`•.¸...::** **::...¸.•´¨::..                 .(¸.•* (¸.•*´ `*•.¸) *•.¸). Qatar      __..)/.._________..)/.._ _..)/..________..)/..__       ¯¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯ ¯""/(""¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯""/(""¯                      ˜*•. ˜*•.•*˜ .•*˜                                *.*

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